Diary of A Switcher: Week 2

Culture | 17 August 2017
Emma Carneyby Emma Carney

So, it’s Week 2 of my journey into becoming a non-smoker. I am not going to lie, dear readers, this gets emotional. You may laugh, you may cry and you’ll certainly read far more about food cravings than is quantifiable sane but what you won’t get is lies. Quitting cigarettes is hard, and I openly and honestly discuss these pitfalls in my journey so you can be inspired in yours … and so you can laugh and point at me as I do them.

Day 8: I ate a whole bar of chocolate. That never happens. I don’t mean a little one either. I’m talking “Day one of worst break up ever” size. I think I am missing the periods throughout the day where I used to get my cigarette and stand outside to smoke it on my balcony like I usually would at home. Thinking about it, my neighbours must be wondering what has happened to “creepy smoking woman” now I’m not there anymore.

The devil makes work for idle thumbs. In this case, that work is mastication and a few inches added to my rear end. I will try to accept these indulgent moments as they are at least keeping me off cigarettes. Je ne regrette rien.

Day 9: I have now replaced smoking with tomatoes. I’m not kidding. As a typical spoilt Londoner, I have discovered I can get a ridiculous amount of varieties delivered to my door via the internet (I am a millennial after all, it’s what we do, like young salmon swimming upstream to mate, we just instinctively know how to use the internet to avoid leaving the house). I find I am now trying to replicate the sandwich we covered in last week’s diary post but with fancier tomatoes. I have literally replaced one oral fixation for another but with a healthier twist. Turns out preparing a freshly baked baguette sandwich is a much better ritual than smoking.

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Day 10: Upped my nicotine dose to 12mgs. My chest is feeling rather good and finding I am feeling healthier (Ignoring the food-for-cigarettes trade-off I have been performing…ssshhhhh!) I am going out tomorrow for food, drinks and potentially dancing. I say “potentially” dancing as I am famous for being found in the smoking area of most places on nights out instead of actually in the venue. Therefore, I am hoping I will manage to resist the draw of the dirty cigarettes by pulling out my smoothest moves. The thought of smoking makes me feel rather ill, to be honest, but I am fully aware that I will be at risk as cigarettes and pints taste so good together. Therefore, I will replace anything that compliments the taste of smoking in my feeble brain with red wine. Rioja is so delicious it should suffice, right?

Day 11: Why oh why did I go out last night? I was doing so well but a couple of glasses (ahem) of vino in and I wake up this morning to evidence that I partook in the smoking of cigarettes. That evidence being a suddenly husky voice – not the sexy sort of the Lauren Bacall variety but the less sultry “wouldn’t look out of place chain smoking in an alley next to a bingo hall” type of sultry. It’s distressing. My chest also feels heavy again and all this is served up with a side of guilt. I also have a vicious “red wine lip”…did I walk around like that for most of the night bumming cigarettes? Ok, another confession, it was more than a couple of small glasses. Don’t you judge me. You don’t know what I’ve been through.

Anyway, I was always advised to ‘write what you know’. I know I messed up. Therefore, like any other self-respecting writer who is going through a whirlpool of shame and loss of willpower, I am now writing about it so I can be judged by the entire internet. You’re welcome.

Day 12: So it turns out my vape battery had died the other night allowing weakness for nicotine to attack. Which is a relief as I coped last time I went out by vaping. I have now bought a new vape which lets me know the exact amount of battery I have left rather than a button that “flashes” when I am on 20% battery. You learn as you go people, and I will make sure to always have at least one of my vapes on charge in the future.

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Day 13: Still on the wagon albeit with the added safety belt of carrying around two vapes at once. Mwahahahaha! Screw you cigarettes I won’t let you guilt me into coming back to you. It was a mistake. A one off. We’re OVER.

Day 14: Have discovered the Vape Queen herself Keeley Walker has an amazing bag that she carries with her that charges her vapes so she’s never at risk. I need one in my life. I have another event coming up and I am dreading falling off the wagon again so anything that could assist this cause must be considered. On this higher nicotine strength, I am doing much better though, so fingers crossed.

So that is week two done, and I’ve managed to claw myself back onto the wagon but one wonders just how eventful week three may be…

Loved all the feedback that I got from the last “Diary of a switcher” entry, especially the love for my “dirty sandwich” so happy to continue the colourful conversation over on the AYR social channels and, if you haven’t already, why not sign up to our email newsletter?

Until next time…

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2 Comments
Brendan|28 August 2017 at 6:48 am

Hi Emma. Keep up the good work. Enjoying your vape blog as I continue my own fag free journey (again).

Reply
Emma Carney|29 August 2017 at 21:15 pm

Hi Brendan, your comment has made me so happy as I know you know EXACTLY what I am going through! How is your journey going? I need to know I am not alone! Next step, becoming sandwich free! x

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