Diary Of A Switcher

Culture | 10 August 2017
Emma Carneyby Emma Carney

My Name is Emma Carney and I have an addictive personality. Don’t believe me? I used to add on an hour to my commute home, just so I could pick up a particular sandwich I’d fallen in love with*.  It was a once a week habit as it was a super unhealthy sandwich, a dirty sandwich if you will. Eventually, on especially stressful weeks I would often find myself making the “dirty sandwich” journey more than once. I was losing hours of my life to a sandwich which I just couldn’t quit.  
With this knowledge in mind, dear reader, I am sure you can now understand that my decision to quit smoking is not only life saving but literally, life changing. This is why I have decided to keep a diary of my journey to becoming smoke free. It’s also going to be hard, emotional and if it wasn’t me, it’d be hilarious. Therefore, I invite you to join me as I begin my first week as an official “switcher”

 

Day 0: I am currently partaking in what I hope will be my last cigarette. I made the decision to become an official non-smoker and have started the switch from smoking to vaping. I made sure to pay close attention to the ritual of preparing my cigarette, making sure I have a cup of tea near by to make the mood extra indulgent. I have begun the process of mentally separating myself from my former smoker identity and venturing into something which will have significant health benefits. My mental mantra for the next few days, which I imagine will be the hardest when it comes to giving up my former smoking habits, is 1:“it kills one in two people” and 2: “why do it?” It’s arrogant to think I would be the lucky 1 in the 2 – which we all do and that is what makes that number so terrifying for me. I am ready to quit.

 

To help make the transition easier, I have my new nicotine replacement, set up and ready to go. A complete e cigarette starter kit was my choice. I am not someone who wants to be messing around with mods and all that other malarkey. I’ve made sure to keep it simple, as I imagine the rest of this journey will be anything but!

 

Day 1: So my first night out wasn’t too bad as I was using my vape outside the restaurant with the smokers and, I won’t lie,  just the smell of the tobacco made me miss the sweet, sweet joy of smoking but I used my mantra and made sure my friend was aware that I was to be supported in my efforts.

 

Day 2: I really miss the ceremony of smoking. I want to roll a cigarette right now. I know it’s a mental need because I’m using my vape and not getting any cravings. Knowing this does make it easier to overcome though. It’s getting to the point where I am fetishising the way people hold cigarettes…that finger and wrist action!

 

Day3: It’s only when you quit smoking that you realise how many lighters you actually own. Am now brainstorming ideas on what to do with all the remaining fumes! In other news, I ate a lot today. Like, all the food. Every last bit. Sugar helps but then I have a coffee and I remember how good cigarettes taste with it.

 

Day 4: Googling tricks on the internet. Researching flavours. Me likey.

 

Day 5: My partner smokes so hard adjusting to it being around me again when he visits.  Find myself moving around rooms a lot more to avoid it. This created a massive panic attack when started thinking about what I have been doing as a hobby for over ten years. Must stay strong.

Emma

Day 7: I’d love to say I didn’t have one toke on my friend’s cigarette, but I did. Don’t hate me. Actually, don’t you judge me! Today was a stressy day and I just needed that one indulgence. Odd thing was, it wasn’t as nice as I remembered. Now feel like I am in a weird middle ground where nothing is enough right now. I don’t want to dual use so I may increase my E juice dose to avoid temptation. I also think I tried to quit on too low a dose.

Phew! So that is week one over and I am slowly dragging my beaten and bruised will power into week 2. I hope you will continue on the journey with me, to point and laugh at me as I struggle to avoid more temptation. In fact – if you are on a similar switching from smoking to vaping journey, I’d love to hear from you and share stories on the AYR social channels. Create ourselves a little digital  “Switcher” support group as it were. What can I say? I’m needy! 

Until next week,

Emma x

 

*For those curious, the dirty sandwich was a sultry Italian prosciutto, parmesan, basil, tomato and mayo on a super crusty baguette. I managed to quit it, but that is different “diary of..” altogether.

I still dream of that sandwich.

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